Sexuality after childbirth

Redefining intimacy after childbirth, our advice for new parents

The arrival of a baby is a time of happiness and joy, but it can also bring its share of changes and adjustments, particularly in the sphere of intimacy and sexuality. For many couples, the post-partum period can be a tricky one to navigate. After childbirth, it's normal to feel the need to find oneself again, to sometimes feel lost, and to no longer recognize one's body in terms of both the sensations it provokes and the hormonal aspect. Here, then, are a few tips and reflections to help you get through this phase with understanding and communication.

1. Be patient with yourself

Recovering from childbirth can take time, both physically and emotionally. It's important not to rush and to give yourself the time you need to heal completely. Respect your body's limits and don't feel in a hurry to resume sexual activity.
We recommend waiting a minimum of six weeks to allow your body to heal from childbirth before resuming sexual relations. Some women will feel the need to wait longer, while others will be eager to resume intercourse. Know that the important thing is to listen to yourself and respect your limits; there are no norms in this area.

For your partner: The period after childbirth is a trying one for your partner, who is recovering emotionally and physically from pregnancy and birth. Love, understanding, help and patience will make all the difference in his or her recovery.

2. Avoid discomfort caused by vaginal dryness during intercourse:

Post-delivery hormones need time to settle in, and the hormones the body secretes during breastfeeding mean that the vagina tends to suffer from vaginal dryness. For some, the effects are more intense, while for others, it may be slightly perceptible. But don't worry, the effects are temporary in most cases.
Finally, whatever your degree of vaginal dryness, you have different options, and bear in mind that natural lubrication is not an indicator of arousal:

During intercourse, use an appropriate lubricant. For example, a water-based lubricant with erotic accessories and a silicone-based lubricant with your partner. The advantage of silicone-based lubricant is that it doesn't dry out or stick, and its silky texture promises you the greatest comfort.
If your discomfort and vaginal dryness persist, or you experience it on a daily basis, you can opt for vaginal moisturizers to complement your lubricant. Vaginal moisturizers are applied every two or three days and help keep the vagina hydrated. On the other hand, lubricant is still recommended during intercourse, but you'll be more comfortable all the time.

Discover our lubricant choices right here !

3. Pain during intercourse

Pain during intercourse after childbirth is often caused by incomplete healing, vaginal dryness due to breastfeeding or muscular tension in the pelvic region. Here are some tips on how to manage this problem:

Consult a health professional: If the pain persists, because pain during penetration is NEVER normal, then consult a gynecologist, a physiotherapist specializing in perineal rehabilitation or a sexologist to assess the underlying cause and obtain appropriate treatment.
Use a lubricant during intercourse and, if necessary, a vaginal moisturizer in between.

4. Low libido

Decreased libido is a very common post-partum sexual problem, frequently caused by hormonal changes, fatigue, stress and concerns about new parenthood. To cope with this problem:

Open communication: Talk openly with your partner about your feelings. Express your needs and concerns, and work together to find ways to rekindle the flame of intimacy.
Take time for yourself: Find moments to relax and recharge, even if it's only for a few minutes a day. This can help reduce stress and rekindle your desire, having been able to take care of your personal needs. Caring for a baby is time-consuming, and maternity leave is far from a vacation, so it's important to take care not to forget yourself.

5. Get your sex life back:

Sex life can sometimes be less active after the arrival of our little bundle of joy. With a hectic schedule, spontaneity and sexual impulses don't come around as often. To help you rekindle the flame or keep the passion in the couple, here are a few avenues to explore:

Communicate about sexuality: Talk openly with your partner about your sexual needs and desires. Find intimate times to connect physically, even if it means getting creative with your schedule or scheduling days for sex (a little 15-minute sex on Thursdays, for example).
Explore new ways of intimacy: Sexuality isn't limited to intercourse. Explore other forms of intimacy, such as caressing, massaging and kissing, to maintain a physical connection. Learn to rediscover yourself, because even during the healing phase or when time is not your ally, you can maintain intimacy with hugs, caresses and gentle attentions. Don't underestimate the power of a hug.
Dare to spice things up: New parenthood means less time, so relationships may be shortened or have to be scheduled. However, it's perfectly possible to vary positions and locations, and to add vibrators, stimulating creams or masturbators to the relationship to enhance it. There's nothing like an oral gloss, a dragon cream and a small clitoral vibrator to add a little sensation anywhere, anytime.

Discover our accessories for the couple right here!

In addition to the sexual aspect...

6. Prioritize time together:

Plan time together: While it may seem difficult with a newborn, try to find time to spend together outside of parenting responsibilities. This can be as simple as taking a short walk together while the baby sleeps, or enjoying a quiet evening at home once the baby has gone to bed.
Invest in your relationship: Make a conscious effort to nurture your relationship by paying special attention to your partner. Express your love and appreciation, and show interest in his or her thoughts and feelings.

7. Share parenting responsibilities:

Share tasks: Share baby-related responsibilities equally, including caregiving tasks and household chores. Working as a team will strengthen your bond and reduce stress.
Be flexible: Be ready to adjust your expectations and adapt to your baby's changing needs. Parenthood is a constant learning journey, and it's important to be flexible and patient.

8. Take care of yourself:

Take time for yourself: Take care of your physical and emotional well-being by giving yourself time to rest, relax and recharge. Happy, fulfilled parents are better able to nurture a healthy relationship.
Nurture your own passion: Cultivate your personal interests and passions outside of parenthood. This will help you maintain a healthy balance between your family life and your personal life.

9. Communicate openly:

Talk about your feelings: Openly express your concerns, fears and needs to your partner. Honest communication is essential for resolving conflicts and strengthening mutual understanding.
Listen actively: Be attentive to your partner's needs and feelings. Listen actively to what he or she has to say without judgment or interruption.

The post-partum period is a time of discovery and adjustment for new parents. While the arrival of a baby is a source of happiness, it also presents challenges, particularly in the sphere of intimacy and sexuality. Rediscovering this complicity sometimes requires time, patience and open communication. By working together, adapting to physical and emotional changes, and sharing parenting responsibilities, couples can strengthen their bond of love and complicity, creating precious memories along the way.